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As much as I wanted to believe in sites that told me differently — that men across the pond were just waiting for my arrival — I felt like I also knew better.
And while these sites say they intend to expose black women to a world of possibilities, the "possibilities" seem to predominantly feature black women with white men — a move that, intentionally or not, presents interracial dating as aspirational.
And although I’ve never met her, from what I gather she’s a very cool person. For some reason Japanese women seem to find even ugly foreign guys attractive …..” Now I don’t even know what hackles are, but if I’ve got any, I’m sure that got them up. So do foreign guys also go out with Japanese women? I personally think the “foreign guy with Japanese girl” sighting is pretty rare.
Plus, Jasmine kind of got my hackles up with a previous post. She’s a German blogger, and I give her mad props for being able to write so well in English. At least getting one woman after another into your bed, is really easy, even if you’re quite ugly! Men and women are meeting each other, at clubs, coffee shops, and at the mailbox on the corner. And you probably don’t notice it much unless—-oh wait—-they’re of different races.
"Once those images are posted and once they're permeating society, then a certain kind of picture is presented and reinforced about who black women should be with," Tiya Miles told me over the phone.
Last year Miles, the chair of African-American studies at the University of Michigan–Ann Arbor and a former Mac Arthur fellow, wrote about the issues facing black women and interracial dating for the Huffington Post.
And if it sounds a bit like I’m down on Japanese women, that’s not the case.
What I’m not so cool with is repeating the same unfounded information about Japan. Anyway, if you’ve made it through this lengthy preface, then go check out the full article in all its glory, and let me know what you think.
But buried toward the bottom of its About Us page is a fuzzy You Tube video that indicates a wider problem.Like if I said, “Japanese architecture is stunning,” somebody’d stand up and complain that the cities are just jumbled amalgamations of aging concrete projects. (Now cue mad comments like “Well, I got laid in Tokyo last night.”) A lot of dudes who’ve been here for years gripe about the exact opposite. Her presence, despite the poor video quality, commands the screen."And I kind of thought about, like, well why is that? The idea that we should travel abroad — particularly to Europe — to find love has a home in online discussion groups, travel websites, blogs, and Facebook pages, all of which earnestly and enthusiastically encourage us to "swirl," i.e., date non-black men (the term is designed to evoke a half-chocolate, half-vanilla soft-serve).And as I started talking to [women] it's like, they're only dating black guys. " she exclaims, pressing her hands to her chest, then throwing them out in a shrug. That's what's happening."She cites her research, 2008 census data that suggests that even if every black man chose to partner with a black woman, there would still be 1.5 million black women left mate-less."That's why I created Black Girl Though they vary in tone — some are celebratory, extolling the joys of finding "Swirling Success in Sweden" while others are bear hard-nosed messages like "The Dating Truth for Black Women: Go to Europe and Don't Look Back" — every site insists that black women in America are better off looking for love in another country.